When I visited UMHB for the first time in 2012, college was not even on my mind. My older sister was moving into Remschel Hall and was beginning to study to become a nurse. Bawcom Student Union and Crusader Stadium were only sparkles in UMHB’s eye (UMHB football played in Belton High School’s football stadium), Hardy was still making its legendary pizza cookies, and The Sub was where you went when you needed a study break. But that was six years ago. Now, I am a junior at UMHB (my sister graduated in 2016), I cheer on the football team in Crusader Stadium, and I say hi to Ms. Cindy at least once a week in the new Campus Store.
But my college experience hasn’t been perfect. In fact, it has turned out nothing like I expected it would.
UMHB was a pretty easy choice for me – I loved how small it was (since I come from a small town), I loved the atmosphere, and I love my sister to pieces, so I was glad to follow in her footsteps. However, once she graduated at the end of my freshmen year, I was completely lost. I pretty much holed myself up in my apartment and let my anger and bitterness towards the Lord over numerous circumstances rear its ugly head. After a while, however, I decided to push myself – I became involved at the BSM here on campus, where I have met some of the people I hold closest to me. I also decided to take advantage of the counseling services that were offered on campus. Even typing that out in a blog post is extremely hard for me to say. (But, sidenote – please take advantage of these services. The counseling services are free, and the counselors are here to help you and will genuinely cheer you on.)
I am at the beginning of my counseling journey, but I can already tell that it is going to be so sweet. One of my “homework assignments” has been to meditate on Psalm 51, which I feel is words straight from my mouth these days. At least once (or hopefully more) a day, I sit down by myself and pray Psalm 51 – that “the bones [the Lord has] crushed [would] rejoice” (verse 8) or that God “[would] create a clean heart for me” (verse 10).
However, the end of the Psalm is possibly my favorite piece of Scripture – it says, “you [the Lord] do not want a sacrifice, or I would give it; you are not pleased with a burnt offering, the sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. You will not despise a broken and humbled heart, God” (verses 14-17).
Although we sometimes feel like we have nothing left to offer except a handful of pieces of our broken hearts, the Lord takes delight in that. Isn’t that amazing? It is sometimes even hard for me to believe. I don’t have to have it all together every day. I don’t have to have a great day every day. The Lord loves me, chases after me, smiles down on me, and rejoices over me even though my heart is broken – it’s the relationship that matters to Him.
Brothers and sisters, would you pray with me today? I pray that you would let the words of Psalm 51 wash over you today and remind you that the Lord rejoices over you and sings a song of life over you.UMHB’s Baptist Student Ministry is dedicated to providing ministries and opportunities that allow students to grow in Christ, give in service, and go into the world to share the love of Jesus. We invite to visit our website for more information on how to get plugged in with our BSM!